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Find anything you need in your Lifestyle… Clubs, Events, Travel, Sex Shops, Nudist Beaches & anything related to our lifestyle.
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You might be single and looking for other lesbian singles and some lesbian dating fun or maybe a serious relationship and real lesbian love. Sometimes you might be lucky and bump into the love of your life or get introduced to her but often it's not that easy and you think, I just can't seem to meet anyone I really like. And then to make it harder, what if you're just coming out and don't know any other lesbians or you've moved to a new city or location. Where do you start? Or what if you live in an isolated area and you can't seem to spot any or you're convinced there aren't any others around. What do you do then? What if you just want to find other women, loving women, to chat to when you're home alone on a weeknight or if you need an opinion about the tricky or interesting situation you find yourself in and want to get the benefit of experience to help you decide? What if you want to expand your friendship circle because you've hung around the same friends forever or you want to meet others with similar interests? Well the good news is, MixingSexy.com will help you find other lesbians quickly and easily. You don't have to wonder whether she is a lesbian or is a woman seeking woman. If she is on MixingSexy.com, she already qualifies! And you don't have to waste your time asking someone out, only to find, they aren't interested in dating right now. On MixingSexy.com, you can see what everyone is looking for on their profile. Whether it's lesbian dating, a relationship, casual encounters, friendship, just a chat, networking or friendship with other couples. It's all right here. MixingSexy.com is smart lesbian dating for lesbian singles. There is so much more choice and you have a much better chance of meeting the love of your life or your best friend or just a bunch of great women. And for some, maybe it will help you through the whole coming out process, or help you work through a whole range of other issues. And on our chat feature you can have a chat and get advice or just chill out any day or time of the week. Then there's some great searches so you can really refine who you are looking for and some great groups so you can find other women interested in what you like. Find out what lesbian events are on in your area too, by checking out our parties and events section. Take that first step, join up and see what you think.
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While many single women truly enjoy living the single life, others are ready to find Mr. Right and begin a new chapter in the story of their lives.
For all of you single women, here are strategies for meeting Mr. Right.
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Expect to Find Mr. Right on MixingSexy.com: When you’re searching for Mr. Right, it’s important to know what you’re looking for. While you’ve probably already spent some time considering Mr. Right’s physical attributes, what would he enjoy? What would his favorite kind of music be? Is he a funny guy? When you think about the things he would enjoy or appreciate, you may determine where to find him. Perhaps your Mr. Right is a fan of jazz or maybe hip-hop. Is he a swinger? Does he enjoy a bisexual woman? By knowing what you’re looking for, you’ll determine how to find him.
Work on Your Confidence: If you are a single women you need self confidence. Mr. Right. Men find women with confidence extremely attractive. Even if you don’t look like a supermodel, be confident with who you are and appear comfortable in your skin. If you accept and love yourself for who you are, so will Mr. Right when you find him!
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At MIxingSexy.com we'd like to think you have just found the largest and best free site, completely dedicated to Bisexual and Bi-curious women all over the world. Our goal is to provide a non-threatening, safe fun place for bi and bicurious girls exploring their bisexual desires. Are you struggling to come to terms with your attraction towards other women? Or wondering how to 'fit' your bisexuality into your day to day life? With MixingSexy.com, you will be able to set up a profile, post pictures, read about others bi experiences and of course, meet other Bisexual and Bi-curious women in your local area. MixingSexy.com is the best meeting point for likeminded women ready to begin exploring with other women. It's definitely not all serious stuff though. You may also post your own status updates, add friends, keep up to date with them all via the MixingSexy.com newsfeed and personal messages. You can even start your own blog if you like. You'll be warmly welcomed. It only takes a minute to register and is completely free! MixingSexy.com is one of the most popular bisexual dating site for bisexual women looking for bisexual couples. Now, more couples are looking for single women than single men. Women interested in having a threesome with a couple have never had it so easy! New research shows that couples look for twice as many women for sexual exploration than ones looking for men. That means that every time you log in at MixingSexy.com, you're going to have more people searching for you than anyone else. We welcome bisexual and bi-curious from all walks of life for frank and honest bisexual chat, meet and discussion. Perhaps you're single? Or maybe you're couple, or perhaps in a relationship, and don't know where and how to start, or if this is even for you? Maybe you're experiencing feelings towards other bisexual women and bi couples, you just can't get your head around? We really hope we can help even if it is just an ear to listen or a bit of advice. One thing's for sure, you'll certainly make some bisexual friends along the way!
To the majority of people brought up in western societies in the last century, a couple engaged in a relationship that does not espouse monogamy is an oxymoron at best, hypocritical at worst. The traditional modality of a relationship entails the promise to be faithful and sexually exclusive to a single partner for the duration of the relationship. Swingers take an alternate route the above, however it is one that can engender more trust and honesty than traditional monogamous relationships do.
Swingers are couples (both straight and gay) who have made a conscious, consensual decision to partake in a committed relationship that allows the exploration of recreational sex with other couples and individuals.
The core of a solid swinging relationship is the openness, communication and trust that are required from both partners to be able to discuss matters such as fantasies and desires openly. These are further necessitated when it comes to acting out such fantasies within pre-agreed boundaries. Sex is therefore a very small part of the Swinging relationship. "To swingers, physical acts of sexual pleasure with someone you respect, just for pleasure, and making love to one's lifetime partner are two distinctly different things". This form of sexual identity is clearly outside the norm, and pushes the envelope as to what most 'normal' couples would consider acceptable. The question arises - Does the Swinging Lifestyle the same recognition as other minority sexualities?
As found in many types of sexuality, swinging assumes a few common forms or variants:
Regardless of the form of swinging lifestyle a couple is engaged in, the common rule that runs through all swinging relationships is that 'no means no'; and that any behavior that brings discomfort or crosses any boundaries that the couples may set is anathema to the lifestyle. It is also an established expectation that couples should have discussed their boundaries prior to trying swinging. Another pillar of the swinging lifestyle is that polite acceptance and refusal are paramount to maintaining a healthy atmosphere in any swingers club or relationship. This draws parallels from the gay cursing scene, where no always means no, and that a polite decline should never be taken personally. The clandestine nature of swinging and the swinger's lifestyle community seems to have created an etiquette that all but expunges the possibility for violence or acrimonious conflict. This etiquette creates a situation where women enjoy a degree of sexual confidence, freedom and power that is rarely found in the outside world. This more fluid version of monogamy can be seen as a sexual power shift in favor of women within the traditional monogamous relationship structure.
The concept of monogamous relationships has been inexorably tied to the institution of marriage between couples (as well as that of relationships in the 'commitment' phase). It is noteworthy however that monogamy is required for neither of the above, rather, it is society that assumes that the former cannot exist without the latter. Swinging and swingers are not hell bent on destroying either marriage or relationships between couples in their more general scope. Rather, the distinguishing that the imposition of monogamy onto their relationship is purely societal allows swinger couples to maintain relationships that mature to a point where the aforementioned sexual power dynamic is fluid and re-negotiated at a subconscious plane. This practical arrangement supplants the socially arbitrated and pre-determined convention of monogamy.
A consistent point that emerged from research by Thomas & Terry Gould, is that in nearly each and every interview held, it was the male part in couples that first suggested swinging to the woman. However, it was then the woman that made the effort to maintain this lifestyle practice. Swinging offers women more than sexual freedom. It offers them the opportunity for self-discovery. This is demonstrated by the very high levels of bi-sexuality found in swinging women, but that fact that bi-sexuality in men in all but abhorred in the swinging community. This may be tied to the fact that society deems it far more acceptable for woman to engage in relations with another woman for her and her partner's pleasure, than for the same couple to swap partners. Whatever the reason behind this trend, the swinging lifestyle is one of the possibilities for modern women to explore all the facets of their sexuality in safe and comfortable environment.
Swingers clubs in general range from nightclubs catering exclusively to swinging couples (and single women looking to join the couples), to events held in hotels and rented locations. The latter are referred to as off-premises, and have the same function as a speed-dating event in that couples attend to meet other likeminded swinger couples in the lifestyle, there is however no swinging on site, and whatever happens after the event is at the discretion of the couples in question.
Swinger parties in private homes generally come with the implication that some sort of swinging will occur. These swingers' parties are generally labeled 'on premises' - which can also refer to a public nightclub, these, however, tend to have various playrooms that offer a degree of privacy and levels of intimacy for couples as well as singles in the lifestle.
Swingers clubs have oft faced harassment by authorities that perceive the swinging lifestyle to be 'devious' or that it 'endangers' societies moral values. These misconceptions have lead to incidents such as the harassment of the Lifestyles Organization Ltd. (LSO) of California in 1997, that found itself harassed by the Alcohol Beverage Control Board. The oddity being that the LSO did NOT have a liquor license of its own, and relied on that of the hotels and convention centers in which it operated. These establishments found themselves under scrutiny for the mere offence of accepting the LSO's business. After a grueling court battle the law came down in favor of the LSO. The fact that the LSO was targeted by the ABC despite not having a liquor license and not offering sex on premises was considered as a given, considering that the underlying intention of the event was that sex would occur, somewhere, and it would most probably be occurring between married individuals who were not married to each other.
A more worrisome assault on swinger clubs was held in Phoenix Arizona, where in 1998 the city in question passed an ordinance that would allow the closing of all swingers clubs. This would follow the declaration that swingers clubs are"A disorderly house and a public nuisance per se which should be prohibited" and that they"contribute to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases", and"are inimical to the health, safety, general welfare and morals of the inhabitants of the city of Phoenix"
The above attack on the swinging community and the lifestyle came from an organization entitled the National Family Legal Foundation; the primary argument in their case being that public morality and safety were at stake. With morality being a subjective matter, the swinging community based it's defense on the matter of STD transmission. Many speakers were called in, all of whom quoted low HIV/STD risks in swingers clubs and between swinging couples in the lifestyle, indicating high condom use and the seriousness with which swingers regarded personal safety and health in the lifestyle. It was further proven that the infection rate was significantly lower than that found in other sexual pursuits such as cheating, prostitution or bars.
Despite the arguments set forth being baseless, the ordinance was unanimously passed by the city council. Significantly, the ordinance did not put an end to swinging in Phoenix, as many swingers clubs and organization currently operate openly. Club owners are legally exposed to being charged with a misdemeanor, it seems however, that the ordinance was passed as a 'moral token gesture' to show that the city was morally against the swinging lifestyle, and that there was no intention on enforcing it at all. The hypocrisy of passing a law, only for it to be ignored, but simply to prove a moral point seems to be lost on the crusading Christians, it is however a perfect example of the moral conflict surrounding the swinging lifestyle. Staunch supporters of the traditional model of monogamy in relationships may find it morally and sexually offensive, whist swingers find the traditional model to be almost unnatural.
The above moral conflict beggars the question of weather the swinging lifestyle could be compared with other sexual identities, such as homosexuality. The polarizing aspect of the morals in question indicate that this is indeed so. The opposite is indicated by the fact that swingers appear to do their utmost to keep their sexual lifestyle within the confines of the bedroom, swingers club or lifestyle resort. Swingers do not flaunt their sexuality in the same way that many homosexuals do, and most swinging couples do not tell their family or friends about their sexual identity in the belief that what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom.
Swingers consider the lifestyle a choice that each person (and couple) should make for himself or herself. The fact that a person swings in a previous relationship does not necessarily mean that they would swing in all subsequent relationships. A high profile example is the head of the NASCA and Lifestyle Organization, Robert McGinley, who does not swing with his current, long term partner. This goes on to prove, that the swinging lifestyle, as a sexual identity is not an inexorable part of someone's sexual orientation, but rather something that can be brought to the surface if it is fitting to the current relationship. Furthermore, this contradicts the long time belief that sexuality is something that pervades all other areas of a person's life.
On the other hand, whilst there is no golden rule that states that a person's sexual identity should consume, or bear itself on other non-sexual aspects of that person's life, many swinger couples might subconsciously be attracted to the swinging lifestyle as a method of subtle subversion to societal norms. Since the status quo of western society dictates that sexual matters are private and should remain in the bedroom, swinger couples adopt this mentality and turn it against the society that espouses it, and regard the swinging lifestyle as a personal matter that they keep to themselves, with no shame in keeping their sexual preferences to themselves. A public sexuality is regarded as no more 'shameful' than a private one. The choice of publicizing one's swinging is down to the whims of the person or couples involved.
The economic independence acquired by households following the second world war allowed couples to expand their focus from purely 'living' to seeking happiness, intimacy and the experience and discovery of new sources of pleasure. This period of economic and sexual expansion facilitated the separation of sex and procreation. This allowed couples to create an individual lifestyle that was distinct from their everyday one, and indeed, model their social live around their sexual preferences. This was the petri dish from which the modern swinging lifestyle emerged and blossomed into the vibrant community it is today.
Whilst the above argument focuses on the ability of economic change to release sexuality in the average household due to previous economic boundaries, and allow for alternate forms of sexual lifestyles to emerge, this argument can be spun around with the establishing that most swinging couples found online are married or long term committed couples that maintain a comfortable lifestyle and have finished raising their children, or have actively decided not to have any. Swingers leverage the current economic conditions to allow themselves to explore their sexuality with the sole intention to increase personal pleasure and satisfaction. A trend emerges that tends to indicate that once the constraints of raising a family and starting out in life are overcome, couples actively seek out ways to seek sexual gratification, with one of the more practical ways being the swingers lifestyle.
Whilst Swinging does not seem to fit in to evolutionary or biological models, there does seem to be a compelling argument for the swinging lifestyle to make sense on in a cultural context. The fact that swinging emerged from our present culture seems to pass most people by, many sociologists seek to draw parallels from previous cultures where swinging and partner swapping was popular and acceptable for couples. This is entirely unnecessary, and only confuses the issue. Swinging has become so popular as a lifestyle for the simple reason that modern day freedoms, liberal attitude and tolerant allowances of our society, facilitated by our capitalistic, economically sound society allows couples to have the peace of mind to explore the limits for their sexual personas at their leisure with other couples in the lifestyle.
The irony that the same society that, for most part, looks down on and condemns the swinging lifestyle is the same society that allowed it to flourish is lost on most. A salient point that is not lost on most is the tacit agreement by most of the 'silent majority couples' that whatever happens in a couple's bedroom is private, and that despite the swinging lifestyle going against current social conceptions about sex and relationships, the option to swing within the privacy of ones house is sacrosanct to such couples.
"In like manner, silence and secrecy are a shelter for power, anchoring its prohibitions; but they also loosen its hold and provide for relatively obscure areas of tolerance (Foucault)."
As most Swinging couples belong to the upper, middle class, are married men and women that tend to occupy professional jobs, and, would swinging aside, represent the ideal model of community members; their devious sexual preferences reside in the most conforming of communities. As happened in the above case in Arizona, once the public condemnation for swinging clubs and swingers parties died down, the swinger couples sexuality become private again, and the mist of silent tolerance returned the status-quo.
"(Personal choices about how to live and adapt - far from being reducible to the effects of rational and seemingly spontaneous exertions of an enlightened free will - are informed by powerful, culturally and historically inscribed subjectivities and desires, which form and transform over the course of development. (Herdt and Hostetler)." Whilst in the current times, swingers belong to two major catagories; 'married couples' or 'committed couples' and 'heterosexual'. Whilst swingers are indeed nonconforming to western sexual norms, there is a tacit acknowledgement by swingers that their relationships will do their best to mirror these, so as to be as unobtrusive to the public as possible.
"In other cultures, particularly, taxonomies of sexuality and gender are embedded in a framework of personhood that creates powerful incentives for conformity, but which may also provide for divergent lifestyle, socially permitted or even sanctioned, at least among certain elements of the community (Herdt and Hostetler)."
At this juncture, support from local communities will be present, albeit in a muted form. This is particularly evident where business is concerned, Swingers form a significantly powerful consumer base, one that is not overlooked by entrepreneurs such as swingers resort and swinging club owners. Indeed, the market generated by swingers has blossomed into a multi-billion dollar industry. The availability of swingers and couples resorts, swinging parties and events, as well as takeovers by swingers of otherwise regular hotels, indicates, that whilst the public regard the sexuality as divergent, they are in a position to relate with it. Swingers generally keep a segregation between their day-to-day lives, and their swinging lifestyle. They are however ready and willing to travel, and pay for the use of appropriate locations for their sexual encounters. This is core of the swingers travel industry.